Can I have a break. Please. As you may have heard I’ve had to be admitted to hospital urgently AGAIN, for a whole new problem. Lupus has it’s own 20+ symptoms and so does Fibromyalgia so this isn’t something I brought up before because I’d hate to bore you to death with all of it.
Anyway I have been having what is apparently called ” drop attacks”. I can remember it going as far back as 6 months but maybe longer. I don’t know. It would predominantly happen after getting out of bed. I put this down to the meds. I would get up, walk several steps and then just crash to the ground.
Like I said I thought my mind/body got confused because I had gotten out of bed to quickly but then I noticed it wasn’t just when I had taken my nightime meds. So late on Saturday evening after I awoke from a nap. I walk several steps and crash onto my knees. I lay there unable to move my legs (my doc later asked if I could use my arms but I couldn’t remember because I was in shock) and call for hubs.
He helps me up. My legs feel weak but I’m able to stand with help and just like that I’m able to walk to the lounge again. Feeling very shaken I spend the rest of the evening on the couch. We resolve to get an emergency appointment with my rheumatologist on the Monday.
I explain the symptoms to the Rheumatologist and he is visibly concerned. He says we need to get tests done a.s.a.p. Me being the dunce I am asks “ok so can you book me in for it next week?” He says “No way” and proceeds to give me an example I’m still freaked out by “Tracey, what if you were in a pool? You would just sink and drown. That’s besides the hundreds of other dangerous things”. It hits through the thick brick wall called my brain and at the same time I get a sick feeling.
Wait. I’m going to hospital again? I’m going because I need a whole battery of tests to figure out what’s wrong with me NOW? Surely this is not happening AGAIN??? Well what would a new year be without a new debility/condition right????
I told my friend that I hope I don’t end up having to wear a helmet. You know a motorcycle one. Too big for my head. Can you imagine my hair when I take that thing off?? I always hated bicycle helmets but I think I can pull it off. I mean, like it can be bedazzled and stuff! Positive thoughts! Positive thoughts!
I’m on quite a bit of meds because of the pain I’m in. Today they applied at least 50 (feels and looks like it) electrodes to my head, all the way to my forward. Markings on my face. A cross like it’s Ash Wednesday.
Perhaps I should run a competition and when this post hits a certain amount of views I’ll shame myself and post a pic of how completely ridiculous I look!šššš Who thinks this is a good idea? I know even if I made it a crazy amount of views there are some of you who will share this soooo hard to make sure it happens! ššš
So I have these electrodes glued to my head… Now I don’t know mean to be sexist but in general the guy on the street doesn’t understand women’s hair and the care that goes into it. I can’t begin to imagine the glue gloops I’m going to be struggling to get out of my hair! To infinity and beyond! I’m hooked up to a black box that comes with a bag. Connecting all the wires. The bag is not cute or fashionable. Bedazzler!!!!
I will be going for a full MRI tomorrow. I need to be off my evening meds for two days for a special test they need to do.p We will chat more about it when I have more information. Right now the medication is lovely. Very lovely indeed. The only thing keeping my sanity intact. It’s been rough.
I might also use the medication as a defenese to cause grievously body harm to this woman in a room on her own, near to me. Never in my crap loads of visits has someone watched the T.V with the sound on! AND LOUDLY ON TOP OF THAT! Isn’t there an unspoken rule??? All day guys and noise increases my pain. Thank God I slept through it.
Oh man do I have some really horrific, hospital horror stories for you! I’m just super fatigued and in pain. I spend most of my day heavily medicated and sleeping. I thought I’d just catch you all up on new bend in my journey.
Please send all the light, love and prayers you can because I really need it. This is a scary time for me. I hope it’s nothing too serious. You know with my luck….. but whatever it is I will fight it. Let’s just hope it doesn’t require copious amounts of medication. I will keep you all updated when I am able to. It’s very difficult to respond to WhatsApp to all the messages. If and when I am able to I will be in touch but know that those messages are really, really touching.
Don’t worry I promise this is going to turn into a comedy with a happy ending…. and now I’m wiped out.
ONE LOVE ā
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