Admit her. Urgent admission.

So as you know from my previous blog posts I’ve been suffering from extreme abdominal symptoms. The scariest being that my stomach is swollen so badly I look 9 months pregnant. I feel like its actually going to burst open and a baby rhino will come bouncing out!

Today I got to see the specialist! Finally! Yes, I get excited to see doctors. It means help is at hand and there is a good chance you are going to feel better soon. Strange though, because not only is he a gastroenterologist but also specialises in liver related diseases. My rheumatologist was insistent that I see this particular specialist. I guess that’s because your liver and kidneys take a knock with Lupus.

We chat about my symptoms. He says that it might be gallstones but he is definitely going to have to admit me for tests. Oh for the love of God!! Sonars, CT scan, bloods, gastroscope, colonoscopy (oh my God I hate this with my entire being!). I could write a whole post dedicated to a colonoscopy but I doubt anyone will read it!

We talk about how difficult it is to get a bed at the hospital but on Fridays there are less admissions because people don’t want to be in hospital over the weekend. Alternatively I book in on Sunday because they would for sure have beds.

He then examines me. We sit down again and we go through some of the symptoms again. He says “No. We cannot for Sunday. Come with me we need you booked in urgently. He marches straight to the receptionist. “I need her admitted. Urgent admission please”

I stand there in a daze. This is where I go onto autopilot. Lets just do this. Irfaan, the specialist and receptionist are busy with paperwork for the hospital. The receptionist says “this gives you some time to get your hospital bag together”

Funny. Just a few weeks ago my sister in law told me she has a hospital bag ready for her kids and I told her I needed to do the same. Well here we are. Doing the drill. I’ve done it too many times to count. I become almost robotic when it comes to this part. I think it’s a coping mechanism.

I go and sit down. His rooms are in the transplant area rooms.
A skinny man has a round little girl on his back. Visibly straining he puts her down on the couch next to me. He tells her he will be back.

Anyone who knows me knows I love kids. She looks like one of those babies who are like sassy old ladies. I love those! I strike up a conversation with her.

She looks like an apple. Her torso and especially her abdomen and cheeks are so round and fat. I tell her I think her shoes are cute. She looks up at me through squinted, bespectacled eyes. “Thank you” I compliment her about her spectacles and then ask how old she is. “11” she says.
I was floored. I manage to say “oh ok”. I look down at her hands. These are not the hands of a small child! She is 11 even though she looks 3 or 4.

At the same time her parents come back. Back on her lanky father’s back.
They leave me with my thoughts.
She is obviously unable to walk the way she is proportioned. Her legs can’t possibly carry that kind of weight. The poor kid. I guess they can’t afford a wheelchair for her. Such nice people too.

It hits me. I’m moaning and groaning “ugh” because I have to go through some tests and here sits this little girl who must have gone through so much in her lifetime. Who has sooo many medical issues in her life. I sat thinking about what she goes through and decided that if she can do it then so must I. I must.
In honour of her and the 13 year old boy who was with mom who was his kidney donor. The transplant doctor was speaking about how quickly he has recovered. In honour of all these kids endure more than most of us ever could. The kids who were born sick and no nothing else.

They are going to do a gastroscope and colonoscopy at the same time which basically means I am gonna look like spit braai! The whole animal. Both ends. So not cool you guys. What a picture.

So now I wait for a bed. I will update you when I am feeling better. For now I’m not well and just need to go get better. I’m sure you will get some crazy hospital stories! Those are the best 😂

See you on the flipside *Peace*love*happiness*

9 thoughts on “Admit her. Urgent admission.

  1. Thoughts are w u Tracey …. hugs to you I’d also go robotic every communication every positive murmur counts
    It’s the little things the kindness the care thanks for reminding us and keep us posted REAlLY
    amazing husband irfan too


    1. Thank you so much! Positive energies you send are so very appreciated. Will pass on msg to Irfaan
      I am blessed


  2. Hello my precious!

    You know what? Make two go bags, keep one in the boot, the other in the house, rotate them just to make sure you got your essentials. On a good day, go to a preggo clothing shop, and buy yourself two pairs of comfort lounge pants, two pairs on loose tops and even buy two pairs of preggo undies. Because why? When we go to hospital we always have a preconceived image of what we assume we will look and feel like when we leave, however we often leave somewhat more battered and bruised than we anticipated. Comfy is uber essential so you can accommodate swelling, tenderness and all the joys a hospital stay offers.
    Another element of your amazingness is, that in the midst of your fog, you saw another humans suffering and spared them a thought.
    This has and will always be a reflection of the wonderous being that you are. Keep us posted. Hugs, love and angels surrounding you both.


    1. Yes! I am so down for the comfy! Gone are the suffer for beauty days! Pajamas rock! I have my fat clothes and my normal clothes. My weight fluctuates depending on meds etc. Sexy for what? Hair tied up and all. A little boemelaar 😂
      Thanks for the love. Feeling a little fragile right now. Always feel your positive vibes regardless of where you all are.
      Yeah thats as nice as I get! I don’t make hospital friends. I’m here to rest and get meds. Earplugs in and watch Netflix. Its quiet time now!
      Semi private room. Luckily the other lady has been sleeping since I got here !


      1. Hi hun,

        You need the “me” time, especially in hospital where your time is constantly interrupted by nurses giving you check ups and stuff. It’s a good thing to get lost in tv programs, lolling off to sleep when you can and giving your body and mind some time to recover from one prod, before the next one is due.
        Boemelar is not a category I see you fitting in, comfy however an absolute. Even war paint has to have a back seat. Certain times call for certain actions/inaction. Try to steer clear of the existential hard hitting issues, instead try watching programmes that are intellectually stimulating yet funny, such as HQ (Steven Fry), of Duck Quacks don’t echo. Funny, intelligent and interesting programs full of reality and fun facts. Just my humble opinion. Your previous blog, was confronting, but real, an issue I did a paper on in psych a while back. However, not something you should be taking on during a flare up. You got sooooo much on your plate right now, focus on you first, then all the worlds sad but real issues.
        Love you hun!


  3. Good read.Not always easy to see that that there are others that go through what you do . Stay strong as u always are


    1. Hey u! I was thinking about u. This time its abdominal and damn. Forgot how crap it can be. Living on salad leaves or toast. As you’ve read in my blog.. so swollen. I really felt sorry for you with the limited food options! I love salad leaves though so that was all good but damn… toast. Bland toast. No. Just no. Did you have a colonoscopy?


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