As Covid converged on us we seemed to just give into something that we thought was going to be a little blip on our radar. People were working from home, eating too much, baking banana bread and doing lots of TikTok challenges. We embraced that we were in lockdown and tried to make the most of it. We didn’t think that this was going to be an unyielding, seemingly ceaseless monster that gripped the whole world in its clutches. As I lamented about this to my loved ones, all the negative things going on, I remembered words I have always lived by. “You have to get rid of the negativity to open up space for the positive things” and that is where my journey started.
Getting worn out and run down robs you of receiving what you need from the universe.
I could change things that I controlled. I have an amazing friend, my Neshama (Hebrew for word which can mean “soul” or “spirit”. A name she first called me) who became a great life coach. Giving me the kick up the butt I needed. I spoke to those close to me experiencing a lot of pain. Pain I could relate to. Forging strong bonds with people who had entered my life I also saw how relationships were being affected by Covid. So many unintended consequences.
Conflict is an unavoidable part of our lives because our beliefs and modes of being often contrast powerfully with those of our loved ones, acquaintances.
Just as a good relationship can have a positive impact on your life, stressful, draining, or imbalanced relationships can have negative effects.Daily Om
I also saw the beauty of relationships. My friend bringing over care packages because I was locked in. When I was sick, genuinely caring for me and going out of their way to make my life a little more bearable. Others finding ways to help me even though they were far away. I realised that while there was so much turmoil I had friends and family who truly loved me. Who knew me, the real me and still held on to me so tightly.
I had an awakening. I was wasting time and energy on people and things that I did not and could not have authentic relationships with and so another part of my journey began. A part that was very hard because it went against who I had always been but who I had always been clearly did not work. I needed a shift. A raise in consciousness
Sometimes the emotions we are feeling belong to the person we are in a connection with, and an energetic cord must be severed.
The drama in some people’s lives can serve as excitement, prompting the body to manufacture adrenaline, producing a pleasurable surge of energy.Daily Om
I’ve always had a problem with setting boundaries and saying no. I became determined to integrate this into the “New Tracey”. It was hard. It is hard. I did however have many champions determined to help me achieve this.
My husband has been working from home since Covid started and yeah at times it can be ugh but we had more time to discuss things at length. Looking at not only life and boundaries but boundaries we wanted to set as a couple. He became a massive champion of this new normal we were creating. A new normal has become necessary. Nothing is as it was and will probably never be again. So we have to create a new way forward. A way that best serves us, that brings joy to our lives and that cuts out toxicity, God knows there is more than enough of it around us.
When negative thoughts arise, it is best to address them rather than pushing them down where they will surface again.
I, We had to look at life and figure out who our tribe actually was. Those who were really vested in our happiness and wellbeing. Those who loved us unconditionally. To set boundaries to create a life of happiness in a time of turmoil. This is also extremely important to my health.
Stress, anxiety, conflict are amongst some of the things that can cause my Lupus or Fibromyalgia to flare. If I’m put in a situation of conflict I literally end up in pain. My husband was also sick of being helpless when I was crying from physical pain. He hated that the antagonists would be just fine while I was bedridden from pain. Setting boundaries is what he decided he could control to avoid seeing me get sick and being completely helpless.
I have said that I am loved by so many. I just want to surround myself with them and just absorb all the love, be enveloped by it, enjoying the authenticity of our relationships. I needed to stop absorbing the negative energy and things thrown at me. It is an absolute waste of your life. It is time you will never get back. I don’t want to even imagine, if calculated, how much time I had spent on things that brought nothing but unhappiness to my life.
Find your tribe! Life is so hard as it is right now. Life is fragile, demonstrated by so many lives lost to this pandemic. Sadly, it doesn’t seem like it is going to end anytime soon. You can’t control Covid or the things it brings into our lives but we can control how we respond and how we choose to live our lives.
We all desire to find our tribe, a community of those that feel comfortable to us and nurture our journey.
Our tribe members are those people who accept us as we are without reservation and gladly accompany us on our journeys of evolution. Among them, we feel free to be our imperfect selves, to engage unabashedly in the activities we enjoy, and to express our vulnerabilities by relying on our tribe for support. We feel comfortable investing our time and energy in the members of our tribe, and are equally comfortable allowing them to invest their resources in our development.Daily Om
There is no better time like right now to figure out our boundaries. To find our Tribes. I have found so much freedom and peace in letting go. At first it was hard, causing me anxiety but as I have practiced this on my journey in the past months it has become easier. No. I can say that now. I don’t have to put up with anything. Life is too short and I don’t want to live with regrets. I already have regrets about time wasted on those who didn’t deserve it when I should have been using that time to show the people who love me, my tribe, love and attention.
Covid has been brutal. I can say that I did gain a lot of perspective during this time though. I had the time to reflect and go on a journey to try and live my best life despite Covid. It’s hard at first but I promise, it is so rewarding.
It is only in the present moment that we experience being alive.
I hope this post inspires you on going on your own journey. Setting boundaries in your life that are essential for YOUR wellbeing. It’s ok to say no. It’s okay to shed people and things that don’t bring positivity to your life. Strive for authentic relationships. I have authentic relationships that were really magnified during this time. I am eternally grateful to those people who guided me and were a beacon of light. Use this time to carve out the life you envision for yourself in relation to life and love.
Like everyone else I wish Covid would just end. Gone is the excitement of baking banana bread. I feel like we are on a hamster wheel. A second wave hit South Africa in December. I was devastated as I watched record numbers of infection and death. Hearing so many stories of people losing multiple loved ones. I was on vacation in my home city with my family for the Christmas holidays when the second wave hit. Luckily we got to spend some amazing time together before the second wave hit.
In true Covid style, the second wave hits and our President announces that beaches are closed. It’s summer in South Africa and we are having beautiful beach weather! People flocked to the city so they could have a beach holiday after a really trying year…. And we get hit with a second wave? Beaches closed, alcohol sales banned (even at restaurants) curfew is 9pm. New Years Eve plans cancelled. Family get togethers cancelled. It seemed to up it’s game. A more infectious strain. Leaving me locked in the house for the holidays because I have co-morbidites and a very low immune system. Like really Covid? I have never encountered a fun snatcher like Covid is being!
There are talks of third and fourth waves and at this point anything is possible really. Vaccines are being rolled out so let’s hope that it becomes our light saber against Covid. It’s time to kick Covid’s ass. It’s been running rampant for far too long! Let’s take control our lives and define our new normal as the world has forever changed.
These are some practical guidelines and inspiration to get started!
This has been a long post because it was an important post, long in the making. Sending you all peace, love and light. I will leave you with this:
Use the good china every day, as today is all that matters
Peace, love and happiness. Please stay safe!